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Parental Approval For Marraige


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>>Question: i had a question about marriage... i want to marry someone who is religious and prays and knows his religion and i have found the right person but my family wont accept him cuz he is from a different country.. but he is muslim and his family is good alhamdalah , do i need their consent to marry this person , is it haram if i do ? <<


By your family, I presume you mean to include your parents.

God tells us in Quran to honor your parents (however, if they try to force you to set up idols beside God, we are given permission not to obey them - 29:8 and 31:14-15).

[29:8] We enjoined the human being to honor his parents. But if they try to force you to set up idols beside Me, do not obey them. To Me is your ultimate return, then I will inform you of everything you had done.

[31:14-15] We enjoined the human being to honor his parents. His mother bore him, and the load got heavier and heavier. It takes two years (of intensive care) until weaning. You shall be appreciative of Me, and of your parents. To Me is the ultimate destiny. If they try to force you to set up any idols beside Me, do not obey them. But continue to treat them amicably in this world. You shall follow only the path of those who have submitted to Me. Ultimately, you all return to Me, then I will inform you of everything you have done.

At other times God commands us not to mention Uff, the slightest gesture of annoyance to our parents.

[17:23-24] Your Lord has decreed that you shall not worship except Him, and your parents shall be honored. As long as one or both of them live, you shall never say to them, "Uff" (the slightest gesture of annoyance), nor shall you shout at them; you shall treat them amicably. And lower for them the wings of humility, and kindness, and say, "My Lord, have mercy on them, for they have raised me from infancy."

From Quran we learn that parents give their daughters in marriage. This would imply that their consent would be required otherwise they will not give their daughters.

[2:221] Do not marry idolatresses unless they believe; a believing woman is better than an idolatress, even if you like her. Nor shall you give your daughters in marriage to idolatrous men, unless they believe. A believing man is better than an idolater, even if you like him. These invite to Hell, while GOD invites to Paradise and forgiveness, as He wills. He clarifies His revelations for the people, that they may take heed.

In the situation you are in, it would be proper to invite their attention to the marriage requirement as per Quran as given at the following links and explain that you are not violating the conditions of marriage prescribed by God and that on the other hand you are complying with all of it. It could give them more confidence and cause them to accept it.

Please see also: Marriage in the Quran.

But more than that it is important that you implore God to guide you to do what is most pleasing to Him. God is the only One who answers our prayer, if He so wills.

[2:186] When My servants ask you about Me, I am always near. I answer their prayers when they pray to Me. The people shall respond to Me and believe in Me, in order to be guided.

[40:60] Your Lord says, "Implore Me, and I will respond to you. Surely, those who are too arrogant to worship Me will enter Gehenna, forcibly."

[18:10] ... "Our Lord, shower us with Your mercy, and bless our affairs with Your guidance."

[18:16] (derived) "Our Lord, shower us with Your mercy and direct us to the right decision."

May God make it easy for you, as is most pleasing to Him.

 


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